You know, being "single by choice" really bites sometimes.
I had just finished reading a blog entry over on WordPress by one of my friends where she had been becoming upset over pining for a future husband by writing letters to this would-be mate, and was cheered up when one of her friends wrote a letter back to her in the prose of this future soulmate. While the gesture made me smile to know that this little note could uplift her spirits, it made me feel somewhat downtrodden about my own relationship woes.
Truth be told, I haven't been in an actual relationship in years, and while I do confess this is mostly my own doing, there is part of me that pines for someone of the opposite sex in my life. I think my problem is I tend to look for and/or attract the wrong type of women. These are usually the ones who are completely wrong for me; whether it be age, distance, or the always interesting red flag: current marital status. Believe me, there have been a couple of women I've been in relationships with who fall into that last category; big mistake.
I think what is triggering all of these emotions is the fact that Valentine's Day is around the corner and admittedly, there is one female friend who I have taken a liking to. The only problem is there is a great geographical distance between her and I. Sure, she has told me that she doesn't see me in such a light, but like most of the male species, I'm ignorant to this fact and my crush on her hasn't waned despite that. However, these new feelings of doubt might be showing cracks in the facade of this belief.
I realise that my current economical and social status are detrimental to my aspirations of finding a potential mate, and this is why I have relegated myself to the sidelines in the relationship game. Regardless of this, there is still part of me that wishes to have someone in his life; even though, I realise there would be no rational woman who would even give me the time of day beyond "just friends." It's something I've begrudgingly learned to accept and it pains me to have endured it for as long as I have. So I guess, with the next February 14th arriving in just over a fortnight, I'll just have to do some therapy where whatever chocolate I would have given my currently-virtual mate would be going down my own gullet.
Until next time, the views may be outside, but I'm hoping one day a woman would let me into her heart.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
Procrastinating Bug Strikes Again
Have you ever had one of those moments where you know you should be doing something, but you don't feel like doing it? Today is one of those days.
For the past couple of weeks I have been plodding through writing a fan fiction story for one of the message forums I'm on; averaging about a chapter a week. (I know, a far cry from my NaNo pace. But to me, this is the "off-season".) By keeping this pace, I'm scheduled to be writing Chapter 3 of the story right about now. However, there's one slight problem: the desire to write the next segment isn't there.
Maybe it's because I'm doing this story "on the fly" with no real pre-conceived plot direction or outline like I did with my NaNo project. (Which I still have to do my editing and revisions for. Argh! It just doesn't end.) The only real focus or direction I had was the way I wanted to introduce one of the characters, and I just brought that twist into the story at the end of Chapter 2. Do I set up some more dialogue between this character and one of the other ones? Or do I leave that fact aside for the time being and concentrate on the rest of the story in general?
I think my problem is I didn't fully plan my battle plan in advance. Anyone would tell you that if you don't have any set direction, a serious writing project (Fan fic serious? Yeah, right!) is destined to be a farce, and I usually reserve my farces for song parodies -- something I haven't done much of lately. But that's hijacking my point. I should have designed a plot flow to help give me some sort of guidance and direction so I would know how and where to take this piece of writing, instead of turning it into a complete clusterschmazz. Oh well, time to think about it a little more. I have two readers clamouring for the next chapter, and it's not going to get written if I keep putting it off.
Until next time, the views may be from the outside, but I'm wishing some ideas would come in -to my head.
For the past couple of weeks I have been plodding through writing a fan fiction story for one of the message forums I'm on; averaging about a chapter a week. (I know, a far cry from my NaNo pace. But to me, this is the "off-season".) By keeping this pace, I'm scheduled to be writing Chapter 3 of the story right about now. However, there's one slight problem: the desire to write the next segment isn't there.
Maybe it's because I'm doing this story "on the fly" with no real pre-conceived plot direction or outline like I did with my NaNo project. (Which I still have to do my editing and revisions for. Argh! It just doesn't end.) The only real focus or direction I had was the way I wanted to introduce one of the characters, and I just brought that twist into the story at the end of Chapter 2. Do I set up some more dialogue between this character and one of the other ones? Or do I leave that fact aside for the time being and concentrate on the rest of the story in general?
I think my problem is I didn't fully plan my battle plan in advance. Anyone would tell you that if you don't have any set direction, a serious writing project (Fan fic serious? Yeah, right!) is destined to be a farce, and I usually reserve my farces for song parodies -- something I haven't done much of lately. But that's hijacking my point. I should have designed a plot flow to help give me some sort of guidance and direction so I would know how and where to take this piece of writing, instead of turning it into a complete clusterschmazz. Oh well, time to think about it a little more. I have two readers clamouring for the next chapter, and it's not going to get written if I keep putting it off.
Until next time, the views may be from the outside, but I'm wishing some ideas would come in -to my head.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Annoyed With Telemarketers
Some companies just don't get the hint.
People are growing more tired of companies trying to get them to sign up for things they don't really need, or switch from the products they're currently using to theirs. And like most people, I am getting quite pissed off about it.
My brush with such came yesterday morning when I was awoken by a call from a business I used to deal with, but switched to a similar business last year. During that year, the business I switched to provided me with excellent service and a far superior product than the one I formerly dealt with. The former business became in such a disarray, there are now currently questions about it's upper management and ownership. Despite all this, the company who I formerly had a business relationship with called to see if I wanted to switch back with them.
I'll admit I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer at times, but does this company seriously believe that I would switch back to them when they can't get their own affairs in order? Thanks, but no thanks. I'm happy with the company and product I'm dealing with now, and I predict it will once again provide a much superior product than these Keystone Kops I used to deal with could ever devise.
Until next time, the views may be from the outside, but I'm not letting these previous jackholes in.
People are growing more tired of companies trying to get them to sign up for things they don't really need, or switch from the products they're currently using to theirs. And like most people, I am getting quite pissed off about it.
My brush with such came yesterday morning when I was awoken by a call from a business I used to deal with, but switched to a similar business last year. During that year, the business I switched to provided me with excellent service and a far superior product than the one I formerly dealt with. The former business became in such a disarray, there are now currently questions about it's upper management and ownership. Despite all this, the company who I formerly had a business relationship with called to see if I wanted to switch back with them.
I'll admit I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer at times, but does this company seriously believe that I would switch back to them when they can't get their own affairs in order? Thanks, but no thanks. I'm happy with the company and product I'm dealing with now, and I predict it will once again provide a much superior product than these Keystone Kops I used to deal with could ever devise.
Until next time, the views may be from the outside, but I'm not letting these previous jackholes in.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Booking Day With Little Sleep
Thank God for Tim Horton's!
Today was the first day the volunteers at the food bank could come in and book their hours for February. Most people come in to do it at 10 in the morning. However, there was one slight problem: I was just waking up at 10 this morning. I'm just lucky I woke up when I did after staying awake until 4 a.m. for the second straight night. (I desperately need to modify my ritual of finishing up my nightly online time by downloading and listening to a couple podcasts off of iTunes. Mind you, chatting with friends online until 3 a.m. doesn't help either.)
After leaving the apartment about 11:15 a.m. and grabbing a large coffee (black, double Splenda) and a caramel apple fritter (I'm totally digging this 49 cent donut promo!), I commenced my 1 hour and 45 minute trek to south Etobicoke to book my shift. I was surprised I made as good a time as I did because I didn't think I'd get there until between 1:30 and 2 p.m. because of it not being rush hour. I eventually got to the Welcome Centre at 1:15. They didn't start the afternoon booking session until 1:30. By the time I was done, it was about 1:45.
Thinking it was a warmer day than usual for this time of year, I walked to the next major north-south drag over and caught the bus and subway home. I eventually walked through the door here about 3:45. So overall, I killed four and a half hours for something that only took about a half hour, complete with wait time. That's the problem with some jobs on the other end of the city and you have to rely on public transit to get there: the long commutes there and back. But I now have my hours for next month: a full day on back-to-back Wednesdays. At least they feed us well for lunch.
Until next time, the views may be from the outside, but I'm still trying to get in; provided I don't end up crashing first.
Today was the first day the volunteers at the food bank could come in and book their hours for February. Most people come in to do it at 10 in the morning. However, there was one slight problem: I was just waking up at 10 this morning. I'm just lucky I woke up when I did after staying awake until 4 a.m. for the second straight night. (I desperately need to modify my ritual of finishing up my nightly online time by downloading and listening to a couple podcasts off of iTunes. Mind you, chatting with friends online until 3 a.m. doesn't help either.)
After leaving the apartment about 11:15 a.m. and grabbing a large coffee (black, double Splenda) and a caramel apple fritter (I'm totally digging this 49 cent donut promo!), I commenced my 1 hour and 45 minute trek to south Etobicoke to book my shift. I was surprised I made as good a time as I did because I didn't think I'd get there until between 1:30 and 2 p.m. because of it not being rush hour. I eventually got to the Welcome Centre at 1:15. They didn't start the afternoon booking session until 1:30. By the time I was done, it was about 1:45.
Thinking it was a warmer day than usual for this time of year, I walked to the next major north-south drag over and caught the bus and subway home. I eventually walked through the door here about 3:45. So overall, I killed four and a half hours for something that only took about a half hour, complete with wait time. That's the problem with some jobs on the other end of the city and you have to rely on public transit to get there: the long commutes there and back. But I now have my hours for next month: a full day on back-to-back Wednesdays. At least they feed us well for lunch.
Until next time, the views may be from the outside, but I'm still trying to get in; provided I don't end up crashing first.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
I Didn't Expect This
Well, now I feel guilty for leaving.
For my readers, you may have remembered a couple days ago where I made mention of my decision to leave the online cribbage league I had been a member of for six and a half years. I learned of some shocking news last night pertaining to this same league.
It was announced by the head administrator on Wednesday night that effective February 1st, the league would cease to exist. I'm not sure if this decision was because of my sudden departure the day before, or in part because of other factors that had transpired amongst the other administrators of the league.
The head admin wanted some time off because her daughter is due to give birth any day now, if she hadn't already, and wanted to spend time with her new grandchild. The other administrator was partaking in a crucial semester in her university program to become a web designer/programmer, and her role in the league would be limited. By process of elimination, that would have left me to fill in the gaping holes had I not decided to pack it in. Given how frustrated I was getting by the lack of turnouts in the tournaments I ran when I was on the clock, I'm afraid I would not have been a very personable supervisor to the 5 tournament directors beneath me; 2 of which had gone on permament vacation and showed no signs of wanting to help with their share of the load.
While I am saddened at the demise of the Mile, upon further reflection, I think this was for the best. Many of the remaining players, if they haven't already, have already started looking to commence play in other leagues. It was a fun ride while it lasted these past 7 years. Many friendships have been made over the years, and hopefully the memories will still remain once the calendars switch to February.
Until next time, the views may be from the outside, but for once, I wished I was still in.
For my readers, you may have remembered a couple days ago where I made mention of my decision to leave the online cribbage league I had been a member of for six and a half years. I learned of some shocking news last night pertaining to this same league.
It was announced by the head administrator on Wednesday night that effective February 1st, the league would cease to exist. I'm not sure if this decision was because of my sudden departure the day before, or in part because of other factors that had transpired amongst the other administrators of the league.
The head admin wanted some time off because her daughter is due to give birth any day now, if she hadn't already, and wanted to spend time with her new grandchild. The other administrator was partaking in a crucial semester in her university program to become a web designer/programmer, and her role in the league would be limited. By process of elimination, that would have left me to fill in the gaping holes had I not decided to pack it in. Given how frustrated I was getting by the lack of turnouts in the tournaments I ran when I was on the clock, I'm afraid I would not have been a very personable supervisor to the 5 tournament directors beneath me; 2 of which had gone on permament vacation and showed no signs of wanting to help with their share of the load.
While I am saddened at the demise of the Mile, upon further reflection, I think this was for the best. Many of the remaining players, if they haven't already, have already started looking to commence play in other leagues. It was a fun ride while it lasted these past 7 years. Many friendships have been made over the years, and hopefully the memories will still remain once the calendars switch to February.
Until next time, the views may be from the outside, but for once, I wished I was still in.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Pests Are Such a Pain
After further review, that was alot of work for something that only amounted to a few minutes. Pointless.
On Monday, I received a notice through my apartment door that pest control would be popping up later this week to retreat the apartment for roaches and mice. My roommate and I were muttering not so pleasantries under our collective breaths as we only received two days notice of the retreatment.
When they came by a couple months or so back for a more thorough spraying, they gave us notice a couple weeks in advance. That I had no problem with as I eventually had to vacate the apartment so their work could be done. But only a couple days to clean out all of the cupboards in the kitchen and bathroom? We would have appreciated a little more advance notice.
So, roomie and I have spent the past couple of days clearing out said cupboards for this retreatment. The pest control guy came by this morning to do this thing. All he did was apply some gel to the cupboards and atomized a spot in the kitchen baseboard. The whole thing didn't even take five minutes. I thought to myself, "all this for that?!?" That's a lot of busy work for something so minute.
To say that I'm not all that impressed by the inconvenience for something so slight would be an understatement. I'm sure roomie will share the same sentiment tonight when he gets home from work and we start putting more of the stuff back.
Until next time, the views may be from the outside, but I'm, yet again, still trying to get in.
On Monday, I received a notice through my apartment door that pest control would be popping up later this week to retreat the apartment for roaches and mice. My roommate and I were muttering not so pleasantries under our collective breaths as we only received two days notice of the retreatment.
When they came by a couple months or so back for a more thorough spraying, they gave us notice a couple weeks in advance. That I had no problem with as I eventually had to vacate the apartment so their work could be done. But only a couple days to clean out all of the cupboards in the kitchen and bathroom? We would have appreciated a little more advance notice.
So, roomie and I have spent the past couple of days clearing out said cupboards for this retreatment. The pest control guy came by this morning to do this thing. All he did was apply some gel to the cupboards and atomized a spot in the kitchen baseboard. The whole thing didn't even take five minutes. I thought to myself, "all this for that?!?" That's a lot of busy work for something so minute.
To say that I'm not all that impressed by the inconvenience for something so slight would be an understatement. I'm sure roomie will share the same sentiment tonight when he gets home from work and we start putting more of the stuff back.
Until next time, the views may be from the outside, but I'm, yet again, still trying to get in.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Turning In My Pegs
Have you ever had a feeling where you've fallen out of love of doing something you used to enjoy? That has happened to me recently. Well, not really recently as this has been simmering for a couple months now.
For some folks who know some of my backstory, I've been a member of an online cribbage league for six and a half years now. In the past two-plus years, I was a guy who hosted tournaments in said league, and last June, I was promoted to become an administrator within the league.
Now, don't get me wrong, I've met quite a few great people there; a handful of which I've even met in person. However, I've noticed in recent months the league has gone down the crapper. Players rarely turn up for tournaments and other hosts have blown off their responsibilities in scheduling tournaments in favour for other endeavours. I don't blame them for wanting to have lives outside of online life, but I don't see that while they're permitted to have outside lives, I'm not afforded the same luxury because of a perceived allusion that I have no life whatsoever.
In recent months, I have tried to break out of this stereotype by doing more constructive things with my life; whether it be volunteering at a local food bank, or even participating in NaNoWriMo. (I've been coaxed into participating in an elongated version known as WriYe, but admittedly, I've become quite lax in that recently.) Regardless, because of my own discovery of outside endeavours, my interest in participating in the crib league has waned greatly. This is why I've come to the conclusion that I should close that chapter of my life and move on.
I don't intend on shutting out all of the friends I've made through there the past 78 months, some of them are on my Facebook friends list at the current juncture, but I believe that my tenure playing cards with virtual wooden boards and pegs has run it's course. It's been quite a ride and I'll never forget my peeps in the Mile.
Until next time, the views may be from the outside, but I'm still trying to get in.
For some folks who know some of my backstory, I've been a member of an online cribbage league for six and a half years now. In the past two-plus years, I was a guy who hosted tournaments in said league, and last June, I was promoted to become an administrator within the league.
Now, don't get me wrong, I've met quite a few great people there; a handful of which I've even met in person. However, I've noticed in recent months the league has gone down the crapper. Players rarely turn up for tournaments and other hosts have blown off their responsibilities in scheduling tournaments in favour for other endeavours. I don't blame them for wanting to have lives outside of online life, but I don't see that while they're permitted to have outside lives, I'm not afforded the same luxury because of a perceived allusion that I have no life whatsoever.
In recent months, I have tried to break out of this stereotype by doing more constructive things with my life; whether it be volunteering at a local food bank, or even participating in NaNoWriMo. (I've been coaxed into participating in an elongated version known as WriYe, but admittedly, I've become quite lax in that recently.) Regardless, because of my own discovery of outside endeavours, my interest in participating in the crib league has waned greatly. This is why I've come to the conclusion that I should close that chapter of my life and move on.
I don't intend on shutting out all of the friends I've made through there the past 78 months, some of them are on my Facebook friends list at the current juncture, but I believe that my tenure playing cards with virtual wooden boards and pegs has run it's course. It's been quite a ride and I'll never forget my peeps in the Mile.
Until next time, the views may be from the outside, but I'm still trying to get in.
Monday, January 4, 2010
And Now For Something Completely Different
They say that sometimes when one reinvents themself, they should consider different aspects of their past. Okay, maybe they don't necessarily say that, but it is something to think about.
Case in point, one of the first things I attempted to do when I first struck out on this interweb years ago was to start doing blog entries on what I was hoping to be a personal website. Unfortunately, like most things in my life, I start out on them with great fervour only to lose interest after a while and they soon fall by the wayside. This was no more evident within the past year as my attempted series of video blogs dedicated to the 2009 Canadian Football League season: I was doing alright until about Labour Day, then they did a bigger swan dive than the Leafs' playoff aspirations a couple months into the season on an annual basis. But that's digressing into another matter.
So, one wonders, "What in the bluest of blue hells am I doing trying to resurrect a blog?" The answer is somewhat simplistic: A few of my fellow Toronto NaNo friends, whom I was first introduced to this past November for 30 of the most awesome days I had experienced in quite a long while, are doing various blogs themselves, and I decided to get in on it. Now, most of them use their blogs as a Forum for their weekly flash fiction creations, and I commend them for that. Does this mean I will follow suit? Perhaps; I'm not sure if I can keep my verboseness to 1,000 word (or less) bursts on a regular basis. Anyone who knows me knows how long winded I can be online. Christ, trying to limit myself to 140 characters or less on Twitter is a constant chore as it is.
Therefore, here's what I'm proposing for this blog. While I'll still try to maintain and keep my video blogs on YouTube relevant and topical, I will add some more frequent musings about other things that tickle my fancy, or grind my gears. Knowing me, it'll be more the latter, but who knows? I may surprise once in a blue moon. So stay tuned; no telling what I might end up typing in the future.
Until next time, the views may be from the outside, but I'm always trying to get in.
Case in point, one of the first things I attempted to do when I first struck out on this interweb years ago was to start doing blog entries on what I was hoping to be a personal website. Unfortunately, like most things in my life, I start out on them with great fervour only to lose interest after a while and they soon fall by the wayside. This was no more evident within the past year as my attempted series of video blogs dedicated to the 2009 Canadian Football League season: I was doing alright until about Labour Day, then they did a bigger swan dive than the Leafs' playoff aspirations a couple months into the season on an annual basis. But that's digressing into another matter.
So, one wonders, "What in the bluest of blue hells am I doing trying to resurrect a blog?" The answer is somewhat simplistic: A few of my fellow Toronto NaNo friends, whom I was first introduced to this past November for 30 of the most awesome days I had experienced in quite a long while, are doing various blogs themselves, and I decided to get in on it. Now, most of them use their blogs as a Forum for their weekly flash fiction creations, and I commend them for that. Does this mean I will follow suit? Perhaps; I'm not sure if I can keep my verboseness to 1,000 word (or less) bursts on a regular basis. Anyone who knows me knows how long winded I can be online. Christ, trying to limit myself to 140 characters or less on Twitter is a constant chore as it is.
Therefore, here's what I'm proposing for this blog. While I'll still try to maintain and keep my video blogs on YouTube relevant and topical, I will add some more frequent musings about other things that tickle my fancy, or grind my gears. Knowing me, it'll be more the latter, but who knows? I may surprise once in a blue moon. So stay tuned; no telling what I might end up typing in the future.
Until next time, the views may be from the outside, but I'm always trying to get in.
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